Hello, everyone - in all the lands where Kristy is known and loved, and especially the Moray community and her family and friends in Australia.
I am John Russell-Milnes, father of Maeve Gavin who died of cancer in 2018.
It was through Maeve that I had the privilege and enjoyment of meeting Kristy. Maeve and Kristy had already struck up a bond of friendship and common values, and very creative co-working.
I was just beginning to learn what my daughter Maeve was doing and creating and the Isle of Arran Grief Tending in 2011 was the first major event of hers I attended.
Although I had my own grieving and life's ups and downs to deal with, I initially approached this event as a curious observer of what Maeve had been getting up to. As the event and the ritual gathered pace and the intensity increased, I realised I was not at all the dispassionate observer but a full emotional participant and was so fortunate in finding myself efffectively paired with this lovely, strong and open-hearted young woman Kristy - and being with her and able to talk freely and deeply with her over the weekend enhanced the experince and formed the basis of my admiration of her and trust in her.
After that I met her several times in Moray as Maeve lived first at Marcassie Farm and then in Laich of Moy by Forres in Moray.
Kristy was always a welcome visitor to Maeve's house in Moray and then when she moved west to Strathfarrar and then Glenurqhart. By then Maeve's son Sorley was born and Kristy was a most popular visitor with him as she just had a way and an energy for children, (as was emphasised at her memorial ceremony).
Just after Maeve's funeral/life celebration in 2018 I was alone in my campervan on a nearby campsite and Kristy contacted me and came to the campsite and in her no-nonsense way got me into her car and she took me up Glen Affric which was Maeve's favourite place and I will never forget this act of kindness and perceptiveness and support for me in the midst of all of our grief, hers included.
I had made a promise to Maeve that I would move to Scotland to be near Sorley, and I found a cottage by the sea at Avoch on the Black Isle. And true to form, Kristy was among the people who helped me clear and move out of Maeve's house and into my new home, a process which was stressful and very emotional - made easier to bear with Kristy's strong support. She presented me with a house-plant and a jar of aromatic herbs she made up herself - as moving-in presents.
I still have them both.
I have described these interactions with and experiences of Kristy as yet further illustration of how she touched people's lives, and you can see how I am one amongst the many who grieve for her and am so sorry for the loss of yet another beautiful young life.
My deep thoughts and sympathy to everyone affected by this tragic early death and especially to Kristy's family and friends in Australia.
I met Kristy at Marcassie Farm not long after I moved here 11 years ago. I always thought she was a bright spot, and our paths crossed many times in different ways—at Marcassie, Newbold, Findhorn community events. We had mutual friends, and she invited me to her 40th birthday party at Newbold, along with a dozen other women. We danced to music performed by a friend of hers on the grand piano. Then she asked us to witness her dancing, as her birthday gift. She was mesmerizing, totally in the moment, praying in motion, flying with joy, reveling in the sensuality of her body.
Twice I attended a birthday party for our friend Margot Henderson with Kristy. One was at a spa in Nairn; I remember swimming laps with her and talking about our partners. She glowed with her new love for Hussain, happily reminding me of being first in love with my husband. More recently, we met for lunch at the Kale Yard.
Ten days before Kristy died, we were in a workshop together, learning group facilitation and conflict resolution. Our group of 24, embarked on a year-long training together, grew very close. For me, she brought a spark of joy and a rare authenticity.
Her sudden death came as a great shock. The way the community—a variety of communities—came together afterwards, and especially her ceremony at Marcassie were a revelation to me. How one person, by simply living her life and sharing her joy and creativity, can affect so many others! And this continues and will continue long after her death. In a profound sense, none of us will ever be the same. Perhaps, in some esoteric sense, this was her greatest gift.
I feel blessed to have known you, Kristy. I thank you for everything you gave so generously to so many. May you continue to fly and dance and smile your wondrous smile!
I met Kristy only a few times yet was so touched by her, a deer like quality, so tender and yet strong like the wind. And a spaciousness, a stillness. I remember an evening together when she invited me to her caravan to share a meal, two Australian women together, sharing deep stories of cancer and our journeys around death and life, living here in the UK. And years later, when Maeve died and I was down here in Devon, in shock and grief, desperate to connect, she rang me, with such care, gently listening, being with me and sharing her own pain. And now she too has died. Again, such a shock, such a loss to her beloved community, to our planet. And yet, each time I tune in to her, I sense her deep wisdom and acceptance and a sort of knowing smile, Kristy is still touching hearts. Thank you beautiful soul, may you dance with the stars.